yes, i do.

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The Five Variable Love Profile

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it’s hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There’s too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You’ve loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn’t mean you’re a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you’ve been hurt – you’re never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven’t found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both “me time” and “we time”. You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

Blogthings: We’ll Tell You The Truth… Someone Has To!

got plan?

satu hal yg paling gw benci, adalah ketidakpastian. benci bgt gw. kenapa?

karena tanpa kepastian gw ga bisa memprediksi masa depan. tanpa peridiksi tersebut, gw ga bisa bikin rencana.

and i hate not having any plan. errrrr wait. scratch that. i cannot not having plan.

why??

because, i had to have plans!! any plans! even for just a 5 minutes future plan. i cannot live without my plans!

and this plaju thingy, drove me over the edge!

so many uncertainty. hadooohh saya butuh kepastian.. saya mau bikin rencanaaaaaa..

i feel lost without my plan!

huufffffhh…

pasrah pasrah pasrah pasrah pasrah pasrah pasrah pasrah pasrah

hmmph

baru saja dapat info,

katanya pengumuman dan bagi2 SK itu nanti, tanggal 30 agustus.

^%@^#!%&!%1!!#*@%#@$#^@$#^!@%#!&#@@!

don’t mind me. i’m just a hysterical lady with PMS.

oh. sorry. but i really really really need to shout it out or i’ll go kreizeeeehhhh.

kamfreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttt!!!

there, i’ve said it. wheew. it DOES help

next destination: uncertainty

this EPD program really drag us along.

belom2 aja saya sudah lelah duluan, membayangkan rotasi 6 bulan sekali. pack-unpack, dari satu daerah ke daerah lain. fiuugghh.

hampir 2 minggu yang lalu, saya, kang Iman, dan mas Ed diberi mencuri lihat daftar penempatan.

and the result iiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss….

*jreng jreng jreng*

aku terdampar di UP3,

Plaju

sebel-sebel seneng sih.

ya mo gimanapun kan ga bisa nolak dong, nasib jadi pembantu junior, sudah menandatangani kontrak seumur hidup bersedia ditempatkan dimana saja.

sebel, karena mesti ninggalin temen2 *hikshiks gonna miss u all*, ninggalin keluarga, ninggalin kamar, bahkan ninggalin gbtn yg lg dirintis *cihhh*. sebel lagi, krn saya ga tau sampe kapan disana, apakah akan di rotasi tiap 6 bulan sekali apa 2 tahun disana, atau bahkan sampe menetap selamanya disana? *tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkk!!!* lalu selanjutnya kemana, itu jg ga jelas.

seneng, karena… saya bosen tinggal di jakarta! hihihihihihi pengen ngerasain tinggal di daerah baru daaaaaaan ehm! tinggal di luar radar nyokap, hohoho. selain itu, palembang kan ga jauh2 amat dari jakarta. masih bisa dicapai naik bis, dan berhubung sesama orang sumatra, i think i could cope with that. alasan lainnya? mo mengembangkan proyek hati *cieehh*

but seriously, saya excited bwt pindah kesana. it would be a good chance for me

i’m not complaining (anymore). i’m a Babe In Total Control of Herself, i’m ready for any challenge, so let’s bring it on!

ini apa ya?

saya juga bingung nih. apa ya ini?

terlalu awal untuk bilang sayang.

terlalu munafik untuk bilang sekedar teman.

terlalu jauh untuk bilang, “yes, i want to be yours”

terlalu naif untuk tidak bilang saya tidak mau berharap lebih.

ngga tau sampe sekarang ini apa. dan ketidaktahuan ini, membuat saya tersiksa. karena ketidaktahuan ini, saya gak bisa membayangkan, memikirkan, merencanakan, harus bagaimana menghadapi ini. tidak punya bayangan, membuat saya labil *justifikasi sih, but true * and how i hate it.

is it the real thing?

or just an act of curiousity?

or maybe just another fling?

bingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingung

things that i can be sure of,

i like him. more than just friends, maybe.

i do care. a lot. just don’t show it. YET.

ngga ada kabar dari dia? just make me go kacang NUTS!

i want to know all about him. stalking just don’t do much *damn you, Telematics Regulatory Analyst! the rule is not giving too much info on the net, right?*

i hate it! segala pengharapan ga jelas, penantian konyol setiap waktu, berharap ada sms/ym/or maybe a phone call, just push me to the edge!

sahabat-sahabat saya selalu mengingatkan saya untuk berhati-hati.

“mungkin dia cuma main2″

“mungkin dia begini ga cuma sama lo doang”

“mungkin he’s just not that into you“.

ouch.

bagian terakhir, a cold, hard fact, really hit me on my face. tapi saya seperti tutup mata. percaya, kalo dia bukan orang seperti yang sahabat-sahabat saya bilang. percaya kalo dia memang baik.

inilah saya.

bodoh,

polos, atau

naif?

i just don’t know.

all i know, i’m running out of time here. i’ll be out of town, for a quite long time. i need a sign, a really good sign, where will we go from here. if it’s mean to be, mean it. if it is not mean to be, end it. be a good, real friends. no more flirtatious thingy. i’m not asking for more.. just a sign, is there any chance of US. i know i shouldn’t rush it. but this is beyond rushing.

walaupun belum tau ini apa, but i would like to try, and to fall.

i just need you to catch me down there.