ini apa ya?

saya juga bingung nih. apa ya ini?

terlalu awal untuk bilang sayang.

terlalu munafik untuk bilang sekedar teman.

terlalu jauh untuk bilang, “yes, i want to be yours”

terlalu naif untuk tidak bilang saya tidak mau berharap lebih.

ngga tau sampe sekarang ini apa. dan ketidaktahuan ini, membuat saya tersiksa. karena ketidaktahuan ini, saya gak bisa membayangkan, memikirkan, merencanakan, harus bagaimana menghadapi ini. tidak punya bayangan, membuat saya labil *justifikasi sih, but true :D* and how i hate it.

is it the real thing?

or just an act of curiousity?

or maybe just another fling?

bingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingungbingung

things that i can be sure of,

i like him. more than just friends, maybe.

i do care. a lot. just don’t show it. YET.

ngga ada kabar dari dia? just make me go kacang NUTS!

i want to know all about him. stalking just don’t do much *damn you, Telematics Regulatory Analyst! the rule is not giving too much info on the net, right?*

i hate it! segala pengharapan ga jelas, penantian konyol setiap waktu, berharap ada sms/ym/or maybe a phone call, just push me to the edge!

sahabat-sahabat saya selalu mengingatkan saya untuk berhati-hati.

“mungkin dia cuma main2”

“mungkin dia begini ga cuma sama lo doang”

“mungkin he’s just not that into you“.

ouch.

bagian terakhir, a cold, hard fact, really hit me on my face. tapi saya seperti tutup mata. percaya, kalo dia bukan orang seperti yang sahabat-sahabat saya bilang. percaya kalo dia memang baik.

inilah saya.

bodoh,

polos, atau

naif?

i just don’t know.

all i know, i’m running out of time here. i’ll be out of town, for a quite long time. i need a sign, a really good sign, where will we go from here. if it’s mean to be, mean it. if it is not mean to be, end it. be a good, real friends. no more flirtatious thingy. i’m not asking for more.. just a sign, is there any chance of US. i know i shouldn’t rush it. but this is beyond rushing.

walaupun belum tau ini apa, but i would like to try, and to fall.

i just need you to catch me down there.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. woi…kamu SMP kelas berapa s1cH ??? xixixixi….. 😀

    1. ditta says:

      aku SMP kelas 2 kakak… :”>

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